Alexander Revisited:
The Final Cut

Pella, Macedonia – 20 years earlier

Olympias:
If you hesitate, she will strike. Yes.
They (the snakes) are like people. You can love them for years. Feed them, nurture them, but still, they can turn on you.  Don’t hurt her. Good. Now…
He calls me a barbarian. He makes a mockery of Dionysus every night.

Olympias:
Women are the only ones who know Dionysus.


Olympias:
My little Achilles.
Stay, Alexander. Down, down. (To Philip) What is it that you want?!

Philip:
Six months. Did you miss me?

Olympias:
No. Not here!

Philip:
Proud bitch, I’m still your king.

Olympias:
King of what? Shepherders? I am of Achilles’ royal blood.

Philip:
The blood of Herakles runs in my veins.

Olympias:
You are nothing but a drunken whore.

Philip:
Shut your mouth. You 10-titted bitch from Hades! Which god could I curse to have ever laid eyes on you!

Olympias:
You think people respect you? You think they don’t know about your bastards?

Philip:
Damn your sorceress soul! You keep him here like one of your snakes! I told you not! I told you not! You’ll obey me.

Olympias:
I will not.

Philip:
You’ll obey me, or I’ll kill you with my own hands.

Young Alexander:
Let her go! No! Stop! Papa!

Philip:
Obey me!

Chambermaid:
Your Majesty! No!

Olympias:
In the name of the gods. He will never be yours! Never! In my womb I carried my avenger!

Philip:
Is that the best you can do, Cleitus? Back to the phalanx with you, I’ll ride him myself.

Black Cleitus:
No one will ride that beast, Your Majesty. Not with your leg. He’s been beaten far too often.

Horse seller:
My noble king, he’s a high-spirited animal, yes. High-spirited and worthy of Philip of Macedon. For three and a half talents, I couldn’t possibly make a profit of him, but for you --

Philip:
Why would I need such a beast? I already have a wife.

Olympias:
(To Alexander) Do I seem so old?

Horse sellers:
Stay down, stay down. Hold him!

Philip:
A broken neck comes free. He’s too nervous for battle. Sell him for meat.

Young Alexander:
Buy him for me, father. I’ll ride him.

Philip:
And if you don’t?

Young Alexander:
I’ll pay for him myself.

Philip:
With what, your singing voice?

Young Alexander:
I’ll pay you!

Philip:
I tell you, that horse can’t be ridden, lad. His mind is broken.

Young Alexander:
He can be ridden. By me.

Philip:
If you can rule that horse, I’ll make him yours. (To the horse seller)…at half the price.

Black Cleitus:
That horse will kill him, Philip. He’ll break the boy in two.

Philip:
Will he? Perhaps she’ll make a musician out of him yet.

Young Alexander:
(To Bucephalus) You don’t like your shadow, do you? It’s like a dark spirit coming up to get you. Do you see? That’s us. It’s just a trick of Apollo’s. He’s the god of the sun.
But I’ll show you how to outwit him (Apollo), you and me together.

Parmenion:
The boy doesn’t have the craft, Philip. He could hurt himself.

Philip:
He’ll have to figure that out for himself. It’s time.

Attalus:
Good idea. Indeed there are times, Philip, when I wonder if he is your blood.

Parmenion:
I only worry that --

Philip:
What was that, Attalus?

Attalus:
Nothing. I was just noticing how the people like seeing you and Eurydice together.

Philip:
(To Alexander) You go, boy!
You ride that horse and by Zeus I say, you can rule the world.

Young Alexander:
Bucephalus. That’s what I’ll call you. Strong and stubborn. Bucephalus and Alexander. Come now, let’s ride together.

Philip:
He got some titans in him, yet. Attalus! Cleitus! For Zeus’ sake, he beats you, man!

Young Alexander:
Now, Bucephalus, show them.

Philip:
My son. My son!

Caves at Pella, Macedonia

Philip:
You remember Prometheus, who stole the secret of fire and gave it to man. It made Zeus so angry he chained Prometheus to a rock in the great Caucasus and each day, his eagle pecked out the poor man’s liver. Each night, it grew back again so that it could be eaten the next day. Miserable fate.
Oedipus, tore out his eyes when he found out he’d murdered his father and married his mother. Knowledge that came too late.
Jason, he went east and brought back the Golden Fleece, and married a barbarian wife, Medea. Later, when he left her for a younger wife, Medea slaughtered their two children in vengeance.

Young Alexander:
My mother would never hurt me.

Philip:
It’s never easy to escape our mothers, Alexander. All your life, beware of women. They’re far more dangerous than men.
I’m sure you remember Achilles from Tales of Troy.

Young Alexander:
He’s my favorite.

Philip:
Why?

Young Alexander:
Because he loved Patroclus and avenged his death. Because he lived without fear, and slew Hector.

Philip:
Some say he was a hotheaded fool who fought for himself and not the Greeks.

Young Alexander:
But he was a hero, the greatest at Troy.

Philip:
And his fate?

Young Alexander:
That he must die young but with great glory.

Philip:
Did he have a choice?

Young Alexander:
Oh, yes. He could have a long life, but there would be no glory.

Philip:
You dream of glory, Alexander. Your mother encourages you.
There’s no glory without suffering… And this, she will not allow. She makes you weak.
The gods have never made it easy for man. Look, Herakles. Even after he accomplished his 12 labors, he was punished with madness, slaughtered his three children. Poor Herakles. Great Herakles. All greatness comes from loss.
Even you, the gods will one day judge harshly.

Young Alexander:
When I’m king like you, father?

Philip:
Don’t rush the day, boy. You risk all.
My father threw me into battle before I even knew how to fight.
When I kill my first man, he said: Now you know. I hate him then, but I understand why now.
A king isn’t born, Alexander. He’s made, by steel and by suffering. A king must know how to hurt those he loves. It’s lonely. Ask Herakles. Ask any of them. Fate is cruel. No man or woman can be too powerful or too beautiful without disaster befalling.
They laugh when you rise too high and crush everything you’ve built with a whim.
What glory they give, in the end, they take away. They make us slaves.
Truth is in our hearts, and none will tell you this but your father. Men hate the gods.
The only reason we worship any them is because we fear worse.

Young Alexander:
What’s  worse?

Philip:
The Titans. If they were ever to be set free, it would be a darkness such as we have never seen before.

Young Alexander:
Could they ever come back? Can Zeus imprison the Titans forever under Mount Olympus?

Philip:
It’s said that when Zeus burned them to dust with his lightning bolt, they took the Titan’s ashes and, in cold revenge mixed it with those of mortal men.

Young Alexander:
Why?

Philip:
Who knows these things? One day, things will change. Men will change. But first, the gods must change. But all this you’ll forget, Alexander. That’s why we call them myths. We can’t bear to remember them.

Young Alexander:
I’ll remember. And some day, I’ll be on walls like this.

Macedonia - 9 Years Earlier.

Ptolemy:
Ah, come, Alexander, drink this sadness away.

Alexander: If only thirst could quench sorrow, Ptolemy.

Philip:
There’s only one thing better than winning a battle, son... and that’s the taste of a new woman. You’ll find it far sweeter than self-pity.
(To Pausanias) Pausanias, you bore me.

Cleitus:
Alexander!

Philip:
(To Pausanias) Be gone with you.

Cleitus:
Alexander, I found you the right girl.
(To Antigone) What’s your name, darling?

Antigone:
Antigone.

Cleitus:
(To Antigone) What’s your name?

Antigone:
Antigone.

Cleitus:
(To Alexander) I love you.

Alexander:
And I love you, Cleitus.

Pausanias:
Please, no!

Philip:
There you go.

Cleitus:
I’ll sleep in my grave, Hephaistion. While alive, I prefer dancing.

Philip:
Pausanias. Who’s your new friend? There’s your new friend.

Pausanias:
Please don’t! Don’t! Please, no! No.

Attalus:
A toast. A toast! I drink to our Greek friends and to our new union Macedonia and Greece, equals in greatness! And to Philip, our king, without whom this union could not be possible.

Philip:
Come, Attalus, leave some damn air in the hall!

Attalus:
And last, I drink to the king’s marriage to my niece, Eurydice, a Macedonian queen we can be proud of! To Philip and Eurydice, and to their legitimate sons!

Ptolemy:
Don’t!

Alexander:
What am I? Son of a dog? Come, then!

Guest:
What a disgrace.

Philip:
Shut up! Shut up, all of you!

Ptolemy:
Please.

Philip:
This is my wedding, not some public brawl.

Guest:
Insolent pup.
Philip: Apologize, by Zeus, before you dishonour me.

Alexander:
You defend the man who called my mother a whore and me a bastard. And I dishonor you?

Philip:
Ah, you listen like your mother. Attalus is my family now, the same as you.

Alexander: Then choose your relatives more carefully. Don’t expect me to sit here and watch you shame yourself.

Philip:
Shame?

Attalus:
You insult me!

Alexander:
I insult you! A man not fit to lick the ground my mother walks on.

Philip:
Shame?

Alexander:
You dog, questioning your queen.

Philip:
Shame?! I’ve nothing to ashamed of, you arrogant brat. I’ll marry the girl if I want, and I’ll have as any sons as I want. There’s nothing you or your harpy mother can do about it.

Alexander:
Why, drunken man, must you think everything I do and say comes from my mother

Philip: Because I know her heart, by Hear, and I see her in your eyes! You covet this throne too much. Now we all know that she-wolf of a mother of yours wants me dead. Well, you can both dream, boy.

Parmenion:
Come, Philip, this is the wine talking. Leave the boy. It’ll wait till morning

Philip:
Now! I command you. Apologize to your kinsman. Apologize!

Alexander:
No kinsman to me. Good night, old man. And when my mother remarries, I’ll invite you to her wedding.

Philip:
You bastard! You’ll obey me. Come here.

Alexander:
This is the man who is going to take you from Greece to Persia? He can’t even make it from one couch to the next.

Philip:
Get out of my palace! You’re exiled, you bastard! Banished from the land. You’re not welcome here. You’re no son of mine.

Black Cleitus:
A toast to Bagoas. And the 30,000 beautiful Persian boys...we're training to fight in this great army. And to the memory of Philip. Had he lived to see his Macedonians...transformed into such...a pretty army. To Philip. To a real hero.

The crowd:
Philip!

Ptolemy:
To Cleitus and his new appointment as satrap of Bactria.

The crowd:
Cleitus.

 Black Cleitus:
That's a fancy way of putting it, Ptolemy. But we all know what a pension and an exile is...after 30 years' service.

Alexander:
Exile? From where, Cleitus?

Black Cleitus:
From my home, Alexander, Macedonia. You could've asked me where I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

Alexander:
You call governing this major province exile?

Black Cleitus:
Has Your Majesty given any of his closest companions...a province so far from home?

Alexander:
Then you won't make a very good satrap, will you, Cleitus?

 Black Cleitus: So be it. Let me rot in Macedonian rags...rather than shine...in Eastern pomp. I won't quake and bow down like the sycophants you have around you. Hephaistion, Nearchus, Perdiccas.

Alexander:
As governor of one of our most Asian of satrapies...Cleitus, does it not occur to you that if my Persian subjects...bow down before me, it's important for them to do so? Do I insist on Greeks doing the same? 

Black Cleitus:
You accept Greek offerings as a son of Zeus, do you not?

Alexander:
Only when offered.

Black Cleitus:
Why don't you refuse these vain flatteries? What freedom is this, to bow before you?

Alexander:
You bow before Herakles, and he was mortal...but a son of Zeus. 

Black Cleitus:
How can you, so young, compare yourself to Herakles?

Alexander:
Why not? I've achieved more in my years. Traveled as far. Probably farther.

Black Cleitus:
Herakles did it by himself. Did you conquer Asia by yourself, Alexander? Who planned the Asian invasion...when you were still being spanked on your bottom by my sister Lanice? Was it not your father? Or is his blood no longer good enough? 

Crateros:
Hei...

Black Cleitus:
Zeus-Amon, is it?

Alexander:
You insult me, Cleitus. You mock my family. Be careful.

Black Cleitus:
Never would your father have taken barbarians as his friends...asked us to fight with them as equals in war. Are we not good enough any longer? I remember a time...when we could talk as men, straight to the eye. None of this scraping, groveling. I remember a time when we hunted...when we wrestled on the gymnasium floor. Now you kiss them? Take a barbarian, childless wife and dare call her queen?

Alexander:
Go quickly, Cleitus, before you ruin your life.

Black Cleitus:
Doesn't your great pride fear the gods any longer? This army...This army is your blood, boy!

Philip ghost:
Without it, you're nothing!

Alexander:
You no longer serve the purpose of this march! Get him from my sight!

Black Cleitus:
I don't serve your purpose?! What was I serving when I saved your puppy life at Gaugamela? Were you Zeus' boy? What if I left you to die in the dust there? Do you think we'd be forced now to mate with brown apes? 

Hephaistion:
Alexander!

Alexander:
Turn out the guards! Arrest him for treason!

Crateros:
I'll go with him. -Alexander.

Alexander:
Who's with him?

Guest:
No.

Alexander:
Who's with him? I call Father Zeus to witness. I call you to trial before him! And we'll see how deep this conspiracy cuts! Take him!

Hephaistion:
In the name of the gods, get him out!

Black Cleitus:
Now look at you! Great white ass, Alexander. Hiding behind his fairy god! Oh! Or are you too great to remember whose life was saved by me?! I am more a man than you'll ever be! Ever!

Crateros:
Get him out!

Antigonus:
He's gone. He's gone.

Hephaistion:
Alexander. 

Antigonus:
Come on!

Black Cleitus:
What a tyrant you are! An evil tyrant you've become, Alexander. You speak of plots against you? What about poor Parmenion?

Antigonus:
Get out! Get out of here!

Black Cleitus:
He served you well. Look how you repaid him. You made me do your foul deed. Have you no shame?

Alexander:
You ungrateful wretch! No one, not my vilest enemy, has spoken like you to me.

Black Cleitus:
Getting what I say?! Despot. False king. You and your barbarian mother live in shame.

Alexander:
Cleitus. Oh, my Cleitus. Cleitus.

Philip: Pausanias, I told you-